Dear Mr. Daniel:
Thank you for sending “RiverRun.” While we found it of great interest and very well written, if you saw our Fall issue there is a story that—while very different from yours—nevertheless uses the idea of a raft trip on a river. Rather than tie up your story indefinitely, I’m going to pass on it (though I feel some regret in doing so). If you have other stories, however, I’d be happy to look at them.
Julissa Redfern, fiction editor
Thanks you for thinking of us. I liked your story “Bunny Hole” very much. Regrettably, it doesn’t meet our editorial needs at the present time. We wish you well placing it elsewhere.
Thank you for submitting “Deep in the Night.” Unfortunately, this didn’t quite work for me, so I’m going to pass this time. Please try again.
Thank you for considering Rosewater Review. I regret to inform you that your submission doesn’t fit our current needs.
(Signature impossible to read)
To Whom It May Concern
We use very little fiction and therefore have to be selective in what we accept. This isn’t a judgment on your writing, which seems very good.
Red Wheelbarrow Magazine
Sir or Madam,
Forgive this form rejection. We get over a hundred submissions a week, which makes a personal response impossible. Your piece didn’t strike sparks with our editors.
Dude, what? You got dingle berries for brains? You’ve gone zero for ten with us. Don’t keep wasting your postage and our time!! Capisce?
You know that old saying—what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger?